Paint me blue, and call me Balaam.
"Hello, Balaam".
I am a hard-headed, self-centered lying girl. There. I admit it.
I am so hard-headed, in fact, that I have not been hearing the voice of GOD in my life. I sufficated HIS loving call with my lies to others, and to myself. I kept pouncing and pouncing in the opposite direction of The Will of GOD.
That’s where Balaam comes into this story. You do remember who Balaam is, right? In the books of Numbers, we meet Balaam. In chapter 22 of the book of Numbers, Balaam gets the proposition that he can’t seem to resist – curse the Israelites for money. At first, Balaam resists – no these are people of GOD, he says. Balaam is questioned twice more and gives in, compromising himself for a little extra money in his pocket. Along the way to curse them, Balaam’s donkey seems to start behaving badly. In anger at the delay in plans, Balaam begins to beat the donkey – and the doneky asks him why.
Did you catch that? The Donkey spoke.
Read it for yourself. Numbers 22: 30,
And the (donkey) said unto Balaam, ‘Am I not thine (donkey), upon which thou hast ridden ever since [I was] thine unto this day?’…. *KJV, with substitution of word
GOD used a talking donkey to get Balaam’s attention. Ultimatly, Balaam die because of refusal to listen to THE LORD MOST HIGH (see Numbers 31:8 to see how Balaam dies).
Like Balaam, I have lied myself into believing that I can do things my way, and everything will be okay. My character has been bought out by the need to be accepted by the seeming perfect crowd within the church doors.
Then, my donkey came. No, there wasn’t a talking eeyore-colored donkey that came to my porch. GOD used a book.
I won’t spoil things by telling you which book, only that it was written by Karen Kingsbury.
GOD used a book to outright confront me with the reality that I was no longer listening to HIM like I should.
I, like many others, was trying so hard to just handle things all on my own that I tuned GOD out along the way. Warning after warning came, but I had my head stuck in the sands of lies. I was lying to myself, and everyone else. I was selling my character for the apperance of acceptance. I, like, Balaam, was taking myself right to doomsville – until The LORD hurled me onto my butt, with a book.
I don’t want to be a Balaam; I don’t want to be stricken dead because of my persistence to disobey. I threw myself onto my belly last night and wept before my LORD as I had not done in many years. To quote Dave Ramsey, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Are you bound for a donkey experience? Are you wondering so far off from what GOD would have you do or be that it will take something drastic to get your attention? Come with me before the Throne of GOD, and kneel with me – pour out your tears with me as an offering of repentance before the LORD MOST HIGH. Repent before The LORD of mercy and grace, and tune your heart again to the loving tone of Your Heavenly FATHER.
Don’t wait for a donkey – or a book – to make a fool out of you. GOD’s mercy is sure, but so is HIS wrath. Just remember Balaam.
